A Guide for Those with Much Money and Very Little Patience Whom Want to Prepare for Zombie Apocalypse But Are Afraid to Google It For Fear of DHS Labeling Them A Terrorist… 
- The PS90 easily disassembles with the push of a single button into two parts that fit in the bag; because there is no gas system it is also very easy to clean. The two extra rifle magazine pouches, concealed under a shirt and bandana, are accessible while wearing the pack. The lower exterior pocket contains the FAK. The rain cover keeps things dry and looking less military.
So, … You have been reading Zero Hedge long enough that you are now absolutely convinced that TEOTWAWKI is indeed nigh, and it could well be quite violent. You have also decided that you want to do something to prepare, beyond getting short the equity markets and going long gold and silver coins, but you do not know what to do, exactly. The HELP function on your Bloomberg terminal is, unsurprisingly, not helpful. A quick review of the government and Red Cross emergency preparedness websites tells you nothing about guns. This is problematic, as you fear that we all might be returning to a time in history where it is a common occurrence to fight for one’s life, and you know that we usually do that in today’s day and age with guns, or a knife close in. What to do?
Well, you could read several books such as The Long Emergency, Reinventing Collapse, One Second After, Alas Babylon,Patriots, and Lucifer’s Hammer to gain an understanding of what some recent authors believe TEOTWAWKI might look like, and then try to formulate a plan on your own. You could also read countless blog posts on www.ar15.com/forums/b/10_Outdoors.html, www.survivalblog.com, or www.zombiehunters.org to see what other people with alleged or unknown expertise are doing to prepare for if/when TSHTF. I understand there is now even a television show called Doomsday Preppers that you could watch. Not surprisingly, you can even hire professional consultants to help you prepare for the possibility of a coming apocalypse.
Alternatively, allow me to provide to you absolutely free of charge and in just one brief Zero Hedge article, A Guide for Those with Much Money and Very Little Patience Whom Want to Prepare for Zombie Apocalypse But Are Afraid to Google It For Fear of DHS Labeling Them A Terrorist. There are some unique aspects to this Guide. First, because it is for Those with Much Money, it assumes you can afford to drop as much as $25,000 and thus save much time by not trying to do things on the cheap. Second, because it is for Those with…Very Little Patience, it makes no attempt to explain the rationale behind each recommendation. One can complete the entire Guide within a couple of months, thus allowing you to put this fear out of your mind and move on to much more productive worries, except for fitness. Regular exercise should really become a habit for the duration of your life.
Item 1. Learn that the first rule of preparing for TEOTWAWKI is you do not talk about preparing for TEOTWAWKI. Tell nobody. Do, however, make up some lame excuses in advance for when some friend questions you about your actions and purchases. Say that you are getting ready to visit your rich and crazy uncle whom is a gun nut living in Alaskan bear country, or your friend in Detroit wants you to house sit. Just do not tell anyone what your plans or preparations are, or even that you have plans or preparations. Continue reading →
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